Love and Passion (take ??)

After numerous technical difficulties, let's try this again.  Please excuse any formatting issues.  I am tired of trying to fix them.

It’s a new beginning on ISB.  I know it sounds cliche but it’s true.  I was disappointed in the direction my blog took at the end of last year. I think I lost focus on what I was trying to say.  The blogs weren’t bad they just weren’t up to my standards.  Yes, this blog has standards, as hard as that is to believe.  I slipped a bit.  I had points to make but got caught up trying to entertain as well.  Sometimes it’s a tough juggling act.
As I sat to write today, I knew what topic I wanted to cover but didn’t know where to start.  Add to that, another blog topic kept interfering with my thought process.  And then it occurred to me that both were related and so “Love and Passion” was created. 
Love.  Can it really defined?  It’s probably the most over used word in our vocabulary. What I want to talk about is when you truly love someone.  I think for us lucky enough to know and understand what that means, we can stand on a higher ground.  Do we choose you we love?  I don’t know.  I think there comes a point in your life when you meet someone and you know.  I know that sounds corny but how else can you explain it.  It’s my belief that people who don’t understand that, are afraid.  They are afraid of what or who they might be missing.  They don’t want to give up any part of their life in order to make that commitment.  In other words, they are selfish.  For the most part, that doesn’t affect anyone.  But there are those people out there, who love that person and will do whatever it takes to love that person.  And that includes putting up with all of their bullshit in hopes that one day he/she will see that what they need is right there. The selfish one can use that to their advantage and string along the one in love.  That’s just wrong.  Whether the love is real or just infatuation, no one should be strung along.  The one in love can’t help the feelings he/she has and the selfish one should not prey upon those feelings.  Cut them loose and let find true love.
I’m lucky enough to be married to a wonderful beautiful woman.  I can say that marriage isn’t easy.  You can make it easier by not be selfish.  I often wonder about married people who have separate checking accounts.  How can you love someone if you have no trust in them or hide things from them.  It doesn’t work.  His money, her money ,our money..baloney.  “And the two become one.”  Our selfishness, is what gets in the way of our marriages.  Ask divorces couples “What happen?”  and I bet most of the time you will get “we grew apart.”  Before it got to that point what did you do glue it back together?  Probably nothing.  No one wants to admit their wrong doings or the harsh words.  Life ain’t easy.  Don’t let life get in the way of your love. You should be glad you have someone to go through life with.  Which brings me to the next point. As I’ve have said I am lucky enough love and to be married to Gretchen.  I could go on and on about her.  Because I understand that, I have no right to stop anyone from his or her love.  I believe that everyone has a partner out there somewhere.  And if you’re a man and it’s another man, I say congratulations that you found him.  If you’re a woman and its a woman, or you’re black and he’s Asian, or you’re Jewish and she’s Muslim...congratulations all on finding your special someone.  I know that that view isn’t always popular but I can’t understand why someone would want to interfere with someone else’s life.  I don’t think we choose who we love.  We do choose how we share that love.  If that love is hetro, homo, interracial or not, God bless everyone of you.
Passion.  Probably another over used word.  Anyway, this thought came to me the other day: “What am I passionate about.”  I had to stop and think.  Growing up, that question was easy.  Baseball.  Everything I did usually revolved around baseball.  Playing it, reading about it, collecting it..it all revolved around baseball.  I would spend hours throwing a rubber ball or tennis ball at a brick wall or back door steps, practicing my glove work.  You could imagine the heartbreak I felt when I was told my fielding wasn’t good enough.”  Okay so I wasn’t the most graceful kid to ever play the game, but I got the job done even if it wasn’t pretty.  My fielding, yeah, it was good enough.  Hitting the curve ball, that’s a different story.  So my baseball passion was yanked out from under me, leaving with a void.  Lucky enough that left more time for dating.  Although, I wasn’t passionate about dating.  It was way to awkward.  On to college, marriage and career world.  I still was missing that one thing that I was passionate about. I like movies, books, and music and can talk about all  of them but not passionately.  Art?  Meh.  Politics? Oy!    History?  Getting warmer.  Making people laugh?  We’re getting there.  One day, circa 1998, while working at a youth conference, some words came to me.  I ran and got a pen and I wrote them down. From then on I began to write more.  But somewhere along the way I let life get in my way.  And then began to write less and less.  I had novels that I’ve started, songs I’ve written and more poems than I can count but life just wouldn’t let me enjoy my writing.  Then about 11 months ago, I started this blog.  I can say I have enjoyed it very much.  But was I passionate about writing?  The answer came the other day when I ask myself the aforementioned question.  I give you my answer in a bit.I have 3 friends that are passionate about what they do.  Their work can be seen to the right of this blog.  Chase Mayers is a comedian.  He recently opened for Carlos Mencia and now has a spot in the upcoming Comedy Arts Festival in New Orleans on February 1-5. Da Future is a hip hop duo that has recently preformed at The Crystal ball Pregame Party at Mardi Gras World and on morning TV.  They have also became on of my daughter’s favorite groups. Da Future is actually Eron ‘Eazy Money” Rousell and “Cprice” Chris Price.  Both have solo careers as well. 
These acts have passion about what they do and are willing to make sacrifices for their passions.  Incidentally, the three collaborated on “Tiger Bait” and have other collaborations in the works.
So what did these three friends do to stir my passions as they are all quite younger than me.  I think what I saw was their ambition and drive.  They all know what they want and are shooting for it.  Me, I’m extremely laid back and maybe I’ve been waiting for something to happen.  Not anymore.  I know what I want.  My passion has been exposed. I want to write.  And not just this little blog.  I want to get published.  So now I have to make a sacrifice.  As much as I enjoy this little blog of mine, it will be taking a back seat to my other writing.  ISB won’t be going away.  I just may not have as many post as before.  I have to juggle work, being a dad and writing.  If only I could turn this passion into profit. Hmm. Gotta work on that. A LOT!
Love and passion.  I am lucky enough to have both.  And now that I am not letting life get in the way of either, I find myself at peace in the world. It is a very good place to be.  Go find your love and go find your passion.  Peace!

Poem from youth confernce:
"Who was I"
As my soul leaves and
I look down upon myself.
I think "Who was I?
Will anyone remember me?
Did I do anything worth remembering?"
Then flashes of faces and places from my my past
and the shadows of doubt begin to cast.
From above my leviatation an illumination
and a voice that says
"Come home, for I remember."--Shane