Scenes from the Dentist Office

It had been awhile since I had been to the dentist.   Not because I'm scared of them  but because the last time I went I felt like I was at a used car lot.  The assistant try to sell me every thing under the sun do make my mouth sparkle.  No thanks.  Bright un-natural white teeth freak me out.  But I am by no means an "Anti-dentite."

Day 1
This particular trip was because two years ago I broke part of a tooth off. I did nothing at the time because I was too busy packing for the big move.  Now itAnyway, I arrive way too early and I have to sit and sit and sit.  Finally, I get called back.  Once in the back, I'm very surprised.  There are no walls.  I can see endless torture dental chairs separated by cabinets.  So, I take my place.  They take some rather painful pictures of the tooth.  I am told that I need a root canal and a crown.  I'm not surprised about that but "what about the other teeth?"  They didn't have time to look at those.  It's like taking your car in because it is making a noise and they notice the brakes might be about to go out but don't have time to make sure.  Whatever.  They schedule me another appointment and give me an "estimate."  Good-bye new 55 inch LCD.  We will meet some day.

Day 2
Both appointments I made on Saturdays.  It kind of handy.  This trip, I brought my boys with me.  They are 10 and 13 and are with me because we are going to see the Avengers afterword.  On Saturday, they must expect a lot of kids because Puss n Boots was playing both days.  I get called back.  I am placed in the chair.  They start by numbing with local although it hurts like hell.  They are jamming the sick onto the most sensitive part.  "You bastards.  You did that on purpose," runs through my head.  Next, come the needle.  Needles don't bother me as I was stuck countless times a teenager. 3 sticks and then they go to work.  They put this green tarp over my mouth.  I'm still not sure what that was for.  More on that later. "Hmmm. That kind of hurts.  SHIT! I ain't numb yet."  I inform them of my uncomfortableness.  They oblige by sticking me 3 more times.  At one point, I counted 4 hands, 2 sucking things, one drill and 2 others "devices" in my mouth at one time plus the green tarp.   Now, midday way through, the numbness had reached the corner of my eye.  It was a rather odd feeling.  Next, to me in the other chair was a 12 year old girl who was screaming like she just the boogyman.  This goes on for 10 minutes as her mom was trying to talk her into letting them do whatever  they were going to do.  The assistant kept informing the mother that she could refer her to another dentist who specialized in children.  It was a nice way of saying "Women your child is a pain in the ass and if she doesn't shut up I'm going stab her with an Oral-B."   About this time, my green tarp is getting covered in my saliva.  I have a acute nose for smell and I don't do smells very well.  So this thing is sopping wet, sticking to my face and it smells. I'm starting to get pissed. Finally, they finish.  My mouth feels like I like I took a shot from the champ.  I look even worse.  The left side of my mouth won't move and it looks like I had stroke.  Oh well, off the movies we go.

Day 3
Not much to say here other than, there was no green tarp. Thank God.  This appointment was on a Tuesday.  Puss n Boots had been replaced with procedure videos.  How fun.  Nothing like a masochist telling you what he is going to do to you before he does it.  Anyhow, 2 1/2 hours later I had my crown.  And off to the work meeting I go.


The first appointment was on April 14.  On June 13 they will finally check the rest of my teeth.  I am afraid to hear the results.  But I like eating without pain so I guess it will be worth it.