Doggie Styles

I am sure the title of this blog can bring certain thoughts to mind such as: sexual positioning, maybe a new rap artist or even a salon or clothing line for canines.  But today, I'm talking about pets.

When most people hear me talk about animals, they think I am an animals hater.  I'm not. I actually love animals. When I was a kid I wanted to be a Veterinarian.  But due to my lack of interest in science, that dream quickly ended.   No, I don't hate animals but I have opinions regarding them that may confuse you. 

Here is a brief list.

Number 1: Animals belong outside
There are no clean pets.  Every pet makes some kind of mess:  Birds-gotta clean their cage and they throw seeds everywhere;  Fish-gotta clean their bowl or it stinks the joint up; Cats- two words "Litter Box" etc.  The  biggest problem with inside pets is that we allow them to get away with stuff that we don't allow our kids to get away with.  For example, when is the last time your kid peed on the couch, puked on the floor, chewed up a shoe and nothing was done to correct them but with our pets, all is forgiven.

Number 2:  Animals dont' love
People often treat their animals better than kids.  I have heard people say how terrible their kids are and turn around and say how wonderful their pet is.  Huh?  What makes a pet great?  He doesn't bark or bite; she licks your face; maybe shows you "love."  My take is that most animals are selfish.  The "love" they show is because they want something, like the Hamburger in my hand.  I'd wag my tail for you too if I was depending on you to get fed.  I do believe that they have a sense of wanting to belong and in turn don't like to be left alone.  I think people like the idea having control over animals.  They don't talk back, when you yell at them they cower down and they are happy to see you.  Kids? Eh. Not so much and that disappoints parents,

Number 3:  Animals are not a attire
No live animal should be used for fashion.

Number 4:  Animals die
How much money is spent on vet bills or insurance for pets.  I know sometimes they have to go and that's fine.  But to spend $6000 on a 12 year old dog because they have cancer is, to me, obscene.  Sorry.  I know Sparky is part of the family but that money could go along way for more important things in this life.  Sometimes it's as if we value animal life more than human life.

Number 5:  Other Bitches

Sharing animal custody- Please!!  Just go get another dog that looks just like the one you had, give him the same name and you'll never miss him.

Clothing for animals-  They have fur, or scales, or feathers.  Don't waste money on pet fashion.

Do not drive with animals on your person.  They can sit in the back seat.  It won't kill them but the wreck they might cause could as well as you and the other driver.

Do not bring them into public buildings.  If they can't stay in the car, then leave them at home.

Lastly, my yard, public parks and sidewalks are not public toilets.  Clean up after your pet.  Letting him out the front door to squat wherever he pleases is not acceptable civilized way of life.

I often hear about the over population of dogs and cats and that they have to be euthanized.  My thought has always been to send them to countries that eat these animals.  Most people are grossed out by that thought but what is the difference between eating a pig and a dog or a rabbit and a cat.  I have not eaten either one but if our society had accepted this cuisine long ago we might be saying "Mmm mmm taste like Cocker."