A while back, Jonah asked why I don't post anything anymore. He knew I had written plenty of things. (there's a drawer full) I really didn't have an answer for him, although I think deep down, I knew. When I write, it's very a very personal thing and throwing something out into the world can be a very nerve-wracking experience. And to top that off with nothing but crickets in return, you begin to wonder if your writings are just that bad and no one wants to tell you. (shoulder shrug emoji) I see and hear other people write and I think, "man, if only i was that good. Lately I've been going through 49 Winchester's discography. I love the way Isaac Gibson writes. Just so much emotion, not only in the songs, but in myself just listening. If you're unfamiliar with 49 Winchester, I highly suggest you take a look and listen.
Back to me, occasionally, someone will ask if I still Blog. "Not in a while but I might start again." Over the years, I thought I'd start again but life always takes me in another direction. Now I stand at the crossroads of Staying in the Shadows Lane and Stepping Out into the Sun Boulevard.
Here's a step into the Sun.
3/27/23
"Lunch Table"
Sittin' 'round the lunch table
listening to Billy Joe's latest conquest story
With detail he has everyone tuned into his words
He looked at me and said " You wouldn't know anything about that"
My answer was "You're right, Son, but, let me tell you what I do know
A good woman's love, a life built together, 30 years of marriage, more ups and downs
than you'll ever know and as for the rest ...
ain't any of your damn business"
3/27/23
"Go on and Tell Them"
I can't remember what step I'm on
As I try to put together what's gone
I want to say I'm ashamed of all the nights
that I kissed that bottle
rather than kiss you goodnight
I have so much regret for the times I
didn't take you out on the town
but instead chose to close the bar down
Now when I see our friends
they all look away to no end
When "sorry" is all I want to say
It seems when I get close
You go on and tell them
Something they already know
Even though rumors fly
you won't see me cry
I accept who I was
and try to walk as Jesus does
I've got a new job
but my happiness you try to rob
When you show up at the jobsite
and try to argue and fight
So I just walk away
But to my boss you have so much to say
And you go on and tell
something he already knows
Why are you stuck there
you said you didn't care
You found another guy
maybe that was a lie
I picked up and moved on
Switched from waning sunsets to morning dawns
I have a brand life
and I'm not ready for a new wife
But she loves me anyway
and when you see me with her
you have so much to say
And you go on tell her
something she already knows
6/11/23
"Best Friends"
Hug and kisses
Dresses and wiggles
Phone calls in the middle of the night
Hands held
Tears wiped
Standing in honor on marital rite
Lifelong
in harmonious song
never alone
6/19/23
"Born to Conquer the World"
Born minutes apart
together from the start
Two so different but
two so similar
Can't say what or who to blame
as to why life and plans unfurled
when we were born to conquer the world
Different approaches and different methods
led to different perspectives and different directions
both happy and at peace with their lives
the world wasn't theirs to conquer
they now realize
9/1/24
"Jealousy Rises"
As your jealously rises
so does your hate and despises
In your mind, lies become truth
and truth become lies
You are toxic
Trying to spread your disease
But as for me, I'm good
I have long forgotten you with ease
and if by chance
your venom reaches my ears
and your smears I do hear
i will just laugh
at you and your chosen miserable path
10/13/24
"I ran for God"
I ran from God
I ran as far as I could
I got lost in the forest amongst the tall tree wood
I bled from the self-inflicted thicket
and turned black and blue from the
internal beating from my mind
Whilst I ran i didn't realize
that God was by my side stride for stride
Awaiting me to ask for help
and reach out for him to heal
10/19/24
"Seth and Lottie"
At night I prayed
and days I dreamed
Long I awaited and now
my heart is full
In your eyes, the past is forgotten
and the future beams bright
And though I didn't know it,
I've known you my entire life
With your pinky in my hand,
here i stand
protector, provider and infinite guider
Your daddy lost in your eyes
10/24/24
"Empty Nested"
A heartbeat in a silent house
replaces pitter pat footsteps
Thoughts of future dreams
that have become present
clash with memories of the past
and days you hoped
would always last
11/14/24
"Sunk"
A gust of disgust soaked in lust
A face in a place that no face should face
with no way to erase
You sunk in a funk
with junk that stunk
Eyes that die with no kiss goodbye
You mumble, fumble, stumble and crumble
and kicked up dust that isn't just
and you bust as it's lost in the gust
11/20/24
'When Sin Wins"
When Sin Wins
The weight dictates your fate,
the chances you take and mistakes you make
Lies become real and the truth becomes fake
The remorse comes as you lie awake
and forgiveness and redemption
see so far away
12/5/24
"A Moment Ago"
I had a thought a moment ago
then it was gone
replaced by your face, aura and soul
In your presence, I'm tunneled visioned
and all senses are awakened
There is only you for me
to love eternally
I'm so heavenly gifted that you are mine
so never shall I pine
For the years before and those to come
my biggest joy, is being one
7/2/25
"Second Chance"
My second chance
it's out of my hands
I've done what she asked
But I can't outrun my past
I sit with my hands empty and folded
waiting for her to grab and take hold
Is this really a second chance
or a cruel punishment dance
Either way I will sit and wait
for whatever second chance she gives
will be my fate
circa August 2021
'Untitled 2021"
the pain
like an endless rain
soaking to the bone
never relenting
loneliness
void of happiness
love received
but not perceived
remedy searching
rather than self-probing
finally, the clouds clear
and you're still standing there
the sunshine
that's always been mine
Drying the crying
like clothes on the line
And that is all that's in the notes on my phone. I may tackle the drawer next.
