Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Black Friday Put Me in the Hospital

It's all fun and games until 4300 inbreds trample over you trying to get a no-name flat screen for $250 dollars.  As I lie on the floor watching Nikes and fuzzy bunny slippers step on my face,  I see an elderly lady go down 3 feet from me.  I immediately grab her..... and use her for cover.  After the first wave had passed, I belly-crawled my way to $35 tablets only to discover that the ones they had in their ad were in limited supply and that the 3 they had disappeared an hour ago. (Belly-crawling through ###-mart takes awhile.)  Needless to say I'm a little disappointed and I'm pretty sure both of my legs are broken.  So, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I found a shopping cart and carted myself over to sporting goods. ( I made pretty good time).  Only to be told of a mandatory waiting period.  Whatever that is?  Then I came up with a brilliant idea.  I decided to shopping in other people's carts.  I found everything I wanted including three $35 tablets.  While I was paying after waiting in the check-out lane for 1 1/2 hours, I noticed a small crowd growing around the service desk.  I thought to myself that I better cart myself out of there quickly.  I had made to the car when I heard the sirens.  I loaded my loot into the trunk and when I started the car I realized that maybe my legs weren't broken after all.  (Thank God for that old lady protecting me)  I hit the gas to get out of there.  Then it happened.  The old lady who had protected me was in the meat-wagon, whom they claim had the right-of-way.  Whatever that is?   I later awake in room 305 with tubes in me,  handcuffed to the bed and 3 police officers surrounding me.  They informed me that I "had totaled a Good Samaritan Ambulance, a street light, and my own car.  When I ask about the contents of the trunk, they all laughed.  Apparently after impact, my loot went flying and landed in front of the Ryans Restaurant.  The one hundred 450 pound patrons and witnesses to crash, all hobbled out and collected all of the goods and placed them in a "safe place" never to be seen again.  I'm told that my only charge is failing to yield the right-of-way to emergency vehicle but the elderly lady, who had survived with only minor injuries, was not happy with me.  Her attorney has since contacted me.  My injuries turned out to be no more than a slight concussion.  FMLA here I come.  Woohooo.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Lost but Found

It's funny that for two months I didn't write.  I had several ideas over that time but the thought of writing just made me cringe. I guess I was burnt out.  I had finished a short story and had started a new one and I was trying to devote my free time to that however, it didn't get my time either as it sits unfinished.  Some of the ideas that I had were about the election but I couldn't stand to here any more about it so why would I want to write about it.  The other ideas I had were as always all over the place.  But I just couldn't sit down and write, I didn't want to. It was so bad that I didn't even read other blogs.  Then I started to get the itch and during the family photo day, the drive came back.  It took a little time before I had the time to write but when I did it felt good.  I saw in Brett Minor's blog that it was National Blog Posting Month.  Cool. What better time to start blogging again.  So in the days to come I will be posting more.  I have been catching up on the other blogs, as well.  There are rumors of an awards fairy that like to visit bloggers and shower them with love and trophies but he has yet to visit me.  I don't know how to take that.  I kinda feel that singer that has a small following that dreams of hitting it big but doesn't want to lose credibility.  (If I even have any)  One other thing that I did was to read my old post and I surprised myself how good some of them are.  (I remain my biggest critic)  Look out readers!  I'm back!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Family Photos

Most family photo day stories are horrific.  Not this one.  A couple of Sundays ago we visited our friends, the Palmers.  After church as we waited for the Sunday school classes to end, we took some family photos.  Now this was planned (somewhat).  First we had to decide on a setting.  Well the setting ended up being multiple locations, all within the confines of the church's courtyard.  There were moments of frustration but they were minimal.  What was unexpected, was the fun that we had.  Since, we weren't in a hurry we could take our time and enjoy the moment.   I got to enjoy my family.  It's a shame that this world keeps us so busy that we forget to saviour the precious time with our loved ones.  Four moments stand out more than others from that day.  The first was just Gretchen and I looking at each other as if 22 years hadn't passed.  The second was Gracie's innocence of taking time to smell the flowers.  The third was Jonah being silly in one photo that opened him up to take some good pictures.  The last was Noah and I sitting on a bench taking in the beautiful weather, watching photographs being taken and talking.  I had to wonder how many more opportunities I will have to share a moment like that with my oldest child.  I wish I could live a day like that everyday.  But instead work, school and life always seem to get in the way.  I think it's time to reclaim my life. 

Sidenote:  My body likes to remind me that 40 is just around the corner.  Upon getting up off the ground, I had an awful pain in my shoulder for no reason.  I had just gotten up off the ground, that's it!  After about 45 seconds the pain subsided.  Just another memory from that day.