Sunday, December 23, 2012

About the Police

The other day I was driving to work when I saw something very similar to this:

Most of you probably don't even think about the police and if you are then you're cursing them for pulling you over or interrupting your "fun."  But you have no qualms over calling them when someone takes something of yours, crashes into something of yours, or punches something of yours.  You expect prompt courteous service that satisfies whatever need of revenge that you deem fit.   And once that task is complete, it's back to them being the enemy. 

Try this:  Look in the mirror to see who is really to blame for your speeding ticket, your DUI, your disrupting the peace, your disorderly conduct.....

 I can't imagine the feeling a spouse has everytime the other has go to work, everytime time a call comes in, everytime he or she is late coming home.  Now I don't know what had happened to that particular squad car or if even if he or she were okay. I can only imagine the overwhelming joy or unbearable pain depending on the outcome.

I just wanted to say thank you to all of the officers for being out there.  I know it probably seems that most don't care about you but you would be wrong.  We are out here, even if we hardly ever say it.

PS -- I have blog request that I will get to.  But this is what is on my mind today.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Pot (not so) Luck Tips

I'm not quite sure of the Pot Luck origin. (or Pot Lock as a former boss called it)  I'm not quite sure if any luck is involved at all.  I think it's mostly skill involved.  Here are some tips. 

First you have to get there early that way you can see whose bringing what, that way you can avoid dishes made by "you-know-who"  Yes, it's a bit mean but it beats the alternative of sitting on the toilet for 3 days.  If by some chance you get there late, you have to ask who brought what or the unavoidable trip to the porcelain palace will await you. 

Secondly, do not take advice from anyone but your significant other.  I was at a Pot Luck when someone informed me how good the "shrimp alfredo" was.  So I got a huge portion.  Yeah, not so good.  Think Kraft shells and cheese with shrimp thrown in and you have the so called "shrimp alfredo."  But what made it worse, was that my aforementioned boss had made it and that boss kept coming in there talking to everyone.  I basically had to eat what I could of the stuff before a well placed napkin could hide the rest.  I then waited for the perfect moment to dispose of it.  I know it was a waste of food but had I eaten the rest it would have ended up in the trash anyway via projectile vomiting.

 Thirdly,  do not spend a bunch of time making a "new" dish or an odd dish that no one will eat.  I once made a very tasty black bean soup that 2 people ate and I was one of them.  If you make a dish that you've never made before, then how do you if it's any good.  By the way, if it does suck, then you may be in line for the next "you-know-who" title.

Next, if you have to ask what something is, pass on it.  If the person who made it can't make it well enough to make it look like is suppose to, then it probably doesn't taste like it either.  Oh, it may be the best tasting stuff ever but I ain't chancing it.  I suggest loading up on what you or your partner brought and play it safe.

Lastly,  if all fails, head for the desserts.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

5 Facebook post I restrained from posting

I just hate it when I have on myapple bottom jeans and my boots with the fur and the whole club is looking at me!

Just because I said "I hate fruitcakes" does not make me a homophobe.

I  passed on "Elf on the Shelf" and went with a "Chuckie on the shelf".  He seems to be more effective in having children behave themselves.

I wiped some chocolate on that damn elf's face.  So now the kids think HE ate all the cookies.  HAHAHA!

As a Christian, someone telling  Happy Holidays does not offend me one bit but punching someone's grandma so that you may buy the last "gotta-have" toy for your bratty ass kid for a holiday celebrating the birthday of Jesus Christ tends to get me worked up a bit.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Chopped Challenge

The other day, I was at Dollar General buying a Coke Zero.  There was a forty-ish couple in front of me and they purchase the following items.

1) 2 cans of Vienna Sausages

2) A 6 pack of Chicken Flavor Ramen Noodles

3)  1 loaf of White Bread

4)  1 two pack of Vanilla Zingers

I thought it was a very odd combo.  Later when I ask Gretchen to guess what  items this couple had  purchased, she guessed, "Ramen noodles, ......Vienna Sausages, peanuts and some kind of snack cake."  Pretty good guess. I suppose DG isn't known for gourmet food. Anyhow, we started coming up with names of things they could make with their "Yellow Dollar General Mystery Chopped Basket."

Now I challenging my readers to come with a meal using the aforementioned items.  I will let Gretchen choose the best one and I will cook and eat that meal.  I will report on how the dinner goes and give the creation a 1 thru 5 star rating.  Good Luck.  I look forward to your creations. .

Saturday, December 1, 2012

"Yo, V.I.P. Let's kick it"

I know you're already singing it "Ice Ice Baby."   It's okay.  We ALL know the words to it.  So one night when a microphone gets put in my face and I'm trying to think of something to sing;  Ice Ice Baby was all I could think of.  So I preformed it.  No, I'm not the best rapper out but for a white guy, I do okay.  Of I guess I should mention that a little alcohol was involved.  Now my co-workers had encouraged me to do it because they got a kick out me rapping at work.  I guess a older white guy spitting out Ice Cube, Dre, Too Short, BDP...(the list is end list) wasn't something they were accustom to seeing.  But once again, it's Shane just being Shane.  So, I preformed the song and even added a few extra words to make it my own.  All of that would have been sufficient.  But I didn't stop there. I (unfortunately) had to take an extra step. Several actually, as during the instrumental part of the song I busted out into full  running man as if it's 1989 all over again.  Yes, I went there.   Did I mention alcohol was involved?  Unbeknownst to me, two co-workers recorded the "performance" on cell phones and were than happy to share the recording with those who had missed it.  Fortunately, the video has yet to find it way to YouTube or Tosh would be calling for a web redemption.  Anyway, it's a moment that some won't let die.  That's fine.  I laugh about because it is funny.  I have been ask for a repeat performance quite often.  I have been hesitant.  I guess I need to be in the moment.  And I don't like the idea of being recorded.  YouTube is full of videos of people who were just having fun but are now embarrassed constantly  because someone posts the video just to be cruel.  Anyway, will there be a repeat performance?  I don't know.  However, I am rather fond of this Gangnam Style thing.