Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Hallowfallharvestfestivalween

So many names but only one day.  I'm a little tired of everyone trying to rename things.  Halloween has been demonized in recent years and I don't know why.   I have to stop and scratch my head.  When I was a kid, no one spoke of still Halloween being evil.  It was a day to have fun.  That included a costume party at school.  Now you can't even send a treat bag!  I think we, in this country, have forgotten how to have fun.  And no matter what you want to call it.... It's still Halloween.  You can debate the origins all you want but as for me, I'm going to get another Butterfinger.  Happy haunting.

This was what was on my mind today.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Westboro Baptist Joke

The other day I get a message on Facebook asking (demanding more like it) that I blog on the following:

(click to read it all)

Here are 11 points to ponder:

1)  Their website name is  I highly doubt God is happy with anyone who puts words in his mouth. Jesus said "Love one another as I have loved you."  No where does it say profess My hate of certain people.

2) What does homosexuality have to do with baseball anyway?  Maybe they heard "he was a switch hitter" or "he tagged him on the backside" or "he took two balls"  or "he popped out to the pitcher" or "he took one down the middle" or "he's a good ballplayer" or "he's going to play a double-header" or "whose on first, what's on second, and I don't know's on third" or "he went down looking" or "he choked up on his bat" and got the wrong idea.

3)  They were founded in 1955 and have 40 members.  A) They must not be very persuasive  B)  Why do they get any attention?

4)  They call the Cardinals and Redsox "peacocks" but it seems to me anyone who goes to the media to tell what they are going to do, are the "attention wanting peacocks". 

5)  Many of the players are devout Christians.  Why make enemies of fellow Christians?  Shouldn't we try to unite rather than divide?

6)  Of all the issues of the world, they choose to worry about what goes on behind closed bedroom doors.  As with all hate groups, they blame a people different from themselves for their pathetic lives.

7)  My gay friends do not spout hate but rather love.  WBC does not spout love but rather hate.  Which group is following Jesus' command?

8)  If my family is on a sinking ship and two life boats were available, one with gays and the other with WBC members, and each only had 3 seats left.  I'm sending my 3 kids with the gays where they could learn love, not hate.

9) If WBC had any good points to make, nobody would ever hear them.

10)  Everyone should watch: Kevin Smith:  Burn in Hell.  Kevin talks about his dealing with WBC.  It's hilarious.

11)  Terence Mann: Ray, people will come Ray. They'll come to Iowa for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. Of course, we won't mind if you look around, you'll say. It's only $20 per person. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the bleachers; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where they sat when they were children and cheered their heroes. And they'll watch the game and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it's a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come. (James Earl Jones in the Field of Dreams)

My take is this:  Attention wanting hate mongers choose popular events to announce that they are going to picket.  A few members show up and are drowned out and out numbered by counter-rally participants.  WBC is a waste of time, a waste of space and a waste of life.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Scenes from the Walker Walmart

I'm guessing you've all seen the the People of Walmart sight.  Some of pictures are funny, some are gross and some are downright disturbing.  So, the one place I don't want to go on a Saturday night is Walmart.  Now on this particular night, LSU had a game.  That means that pretty much all of Louisiana has shut down.  We thought it might be an empty store for once.  Needing a few items, we decided to give it a shot.  Well it wasn't a full store but it wasn't empty either.  I witnessed the following:

They had hot loaves of French bread available.  Most people, I assume, would take a loaf home and eat with some sort of pasta.  But........... not the teenage girl at this Walmart.  Nope,  She pushed down the foil and took a bite as if she hadn't eaten in a year.  She looked like a Zombie munching on a severed leg.

They had all sorts of grapes for sale.  I'm no expert on grapes.  I don't know how to tell if grapes are ripe or not.  But............not the guy in one of the motorized shopping carts.  He had a way to tell if grapes or not.  His approach was simple.  Open the bag and eat 1 or 2.  I'm not sure how many he actually ate but with each tasting Walmart lost more profit.  He finally found a bag that he liked and then chose the bag that sat behind it to put in his cart.  No, he didn't try a grape from the bag he placed in his cart.  I don't why.  I didn't ask.

I dont' why kids decide that Walmart is the place to test their parents authority.  Maybe they think that their surroundings of complete strangers make their parents less likely to lose their minds.   And maybe to some extent they are correct.  The mom I saw tonight has a way to control her 4 year old.  Her approach was simple.  It was "I'll take your android tablet, your DS, your Wii and your PlayStation 3."  I guessing the Xbox 360 was up for negotiations as well as the keys to the car and boat.  Seriously, had the kid not had all of that, maybe just maybe he wouldn't be acting up at Walmart.

Every Walmart that I've been to have cart returns in their parking lots. Tonight as we parked, I notice there were 2 cart left two parking spots from the cart return.  I will never understand why people can walk around Walmart for 3 hours but to have to walk that last 5 feet to return cart is unacceptable.  Lazy ass Americans.  Then upon leaving, I witnessed a guy load his car and he left his cart directly behind his car.  As I walk closer, I see him pull forward an squeeze between 2 cars to leave.  Can't get any apathetic than that.  Now the person can't even pull into the spot.  But hey, he saved himself 8 steps and 15 seconds.  Did I mention "lazy"?

Lastly, a worker making fried chicken cut herself with the slicer.  Her co-worker was so concerned that he told the waiting  customers, "I wouldn't eat the chicken."

 PS:   I really really really hate Walmart.  Check what happened to me on Black Friday.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Ooooh, I Got A Dog Named Jagger

It's been awhile so excuse me as I slowly dip my toe once again into the blogging waters.  I've been going 15 rounds in my head with creative direction. It's the same ole same thing. Readers think I should write about this or that.  I asked for ideas on Facebook and got a few.  But it kept coming down to me having absolutely no motivation.  I would rather play around with fantasy football then type something that I deemed mediocre.  Wow.  This has started off negative.  Enough of my internal conflict.  Let's move on.

So, about 6 weeks ago we decided that it was time that we expanded our family.  We adopted a Dachshund and Yorkie mix, aka a "Dorkie".  After a few days of debate, the name Jagger was decided by majority vote.  Jagger was 6 weeks old when we got him.  Of course, we had to go to Petco and pick out a cage, type of food, and dog treats and to Walmart for shampoo and toys.  The price tag on this "free" dog has sky-rocketed.  We managed to get everything home and surprise the kids with new family member.  It has been a bit of an adjustment.  He originally found comfort by me.  He would sit with the others but would always comeback to me.  Now, it seems that Gretchen has become his favorite.  I'm fine with that.  Now the kids didn't realize that puppies need to go outside quite often.  I have never house broken a dog before and it has been harder than I expected.  We are getting close.  He gets near the door when it's time.  The other morning he squatted and I ran over and scooped him up to get him outside.  As I reached for the door, I slid.  There was a sudden warmth on the bottom of my bare foot.  I stopped to look.  Yup,  I guess his little sphincter couldn't hold it in another 5 seconds.  So, there I am with dog crap stuck to my foot.  This is not the way to start a Monday. Six weeks into the deal and it's funny that I can't remember what not having a dog was like.  He has become a member of the family.  Some people have the idea that I hate animals.  What they don't get, is that I don't hate animals.  I hate the fact that people treat animals better than people.

Anyway, we are quite happy with our little Dorkie and I think he's pretty happy with us.