Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Prune and the Raisin

*Based on a true story

"Disturbing" is how Rob described it.  I don't even know what he was talking about because as soon as he said it my mind raced back to the past.  You see, Rob had used that exact word to describe another incident. 

That story begins with him telephoning his grandparents, who were in their mid 70's, only to have them not to answer.  After several attempts, worry set in and and he and Carmen hurried to check on the unresponsive grandparents. Upon arrival, they notice how eerily quiet things were.  They continued into the house.  Again, there was no sign of anyone.  Rob and Carmen called out numerous times and got silence as an answer.  Finally, Rob went to the bedroom door and nervously opened it.  Thoughts of what might be behind it, including death, were causing unbearable stress.   He cleared his thoughts took a breath and opened the door and walked in.  Immediately, he turned and ran out.  He told Carmen "We gotta go!"  Carmen hurried out to catch up with Rob.  Outside, Carmen tried to get Rob to open up.  Eventually, he spoke and described the horror of which he had seen.  Carmen could do nothing as she was in shock.   The horror scene Rob had witnessed can simply be described as: grandpa was going down on grandma.  So, yes "Disturbing" is the only description that can be used.  But the story does not end there.

A story like that can not be held within. It must be told and retold over and over. The funniest part is people's reactions.  Many of Rob's relatives' first response was "Did he have his teeth in?"  Rob's mother said "Well it is an important part of marriage."  Of the two responses, the latter can make you think.  As awkward as it may be, there is a sweetness in a couple that been together that long and is able to share a special closeness.  With that said, we had fun with the other.

As we talked about it, "Did he have his teeth in?" became the focus.

Rob:  How was I suppose to know if he had his teeth?  It's not like he was smiling.

Me:  No.  But I bet grandma was. (big laughs)

Rob: It looked like a prune eating a raisin. (bigger laughs)

Me:  Sounds like a disease. (In my best TV commercial I say)  Do you suffer from Geriatric cunnilingus? (tears)

Then I annonced that it would be in a blog.  "It was a hot and moist morning.."

Carmen:  I don't think it would've been that moist

Me:  Well there's always mazola, corn oil, ummm...........

Carmen:  They were always found of bacon grease.

Me:  Honey, come on in here and give me some of that BLT action! (my family sets 'em up and I knock them down)

In the end, disturbing, funny or sweet, you can decide.  I'm sure some will be repulsed by such a story.  But what they miss, is what they could learn from this couple.  A life long love and closeness that marriages need and without, won't make it.


  1. Ummm...I plan to love my old lady.

    1. Good for you, Brett. Love and be loved. It makes life so much more