Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Little Miss Gretchen sat on the toilet

Yes, two blogs in one day.

At precisely 5:49 a.m. I was awakened by "SHANE, there's a big spider in here!" (the bathroom)  Now, I have seen Gretchen's "big spiders" before and they are usually not that big.  So, I climb out of bed and go into the bathroom and to my surprise she's on the toilet.  No, not standing on the toilet, on the toilet.  "The spider is under those rugs."  "Grab a shoe."  I went and got a shoe.  I pulled the rug back and yes it was a rather large spider.  He must have been out for a morning stroll because he was just going about his business.  He never knew what hit him.

I'm not really scared of anything but, I have a huge dislike for spiders and snakes.  If a spider is outside he gets a pass.  Eat all the bugs that you want.  A snake doesn't get that lucky.  I know snakes have a place in the ecosystem, it's just not around me.  I will kill any snake that I see.  The problem with spiders and snakes is that they are always where they shouldn't be.  And they feel it's our fault when we stumble upon them.  If either startle me, it's over for them.

This wasn't the first time Gretchen has called me to kill a bug.  The first time, I was 17 or 18 years old and she called me on the phone because there was a cricket in her room.  I came over and found her standing on a milk crate and a tiny cricket in the floor.  It was a comical scene, as was this morning's scene with the spider catching her with her pants down.


  1. In my house I have a pet spider (large tarantula) and a pet snake (python). Love them. Always have, but don't know why. Kudos to you for rescuing your wife.

  2. Yes, always my hero - but a little reworking of the story would have been appreciated!