Monday, October 3, 2011

Geminis under Gemini

I often hear people claim how much they would like to have twins.  Being a twin myself I always ask "Why?"  I'm always curious of what their reasoning is.  They have no idea of what being a twin is, nor do they care.  However, I usually inform them anyway.  Having a twin has it's good and it's bad.  The following blog is my life as a twin born under the Gemini stars.

First of all, let's get it out of the way.  NO, we do not have ESP!  We can not communicate telepathically.  Yes, I know you are laughing, but I have been ask that a million times.  I guess as babies we had our "twin talk." so I'm told.  We would jabber with one another.  We apparently knew what the other was saying but no one else could understand.  We look nothing alike, as we are fraternal. (that means we come from two different eggs) We were dressed alike quite often as infants.  I guess that's cute.   I hear people use that as a reason for wanting twins.  My thought on that is "okay, but their not baby dolls."  Twins are often given similar names, ours are Shawn and Shane.  I have no problem with that but I will have more on names later.

Growing up with a twin means someone is always there.  I think it may be little different with girls but with boys, your twin is your best friend and your worst enemy.  We would be playing together one minute and beating the crap out of each other the next.  You learn a lot from each other.  We had different interests but whatever those differences were the other had some interest in what the other was doing.

The worst part of being a twin is that people will treat you like one person.  People don't get your name right and when you correct them, they just laugh about it.  Cheap ass people will get you one gift an expect you to share it.  Yeah, right!  That's like expecting two lions to share one steak.  It ain't happening.  Now, back to names.  Shawn and Shane, Shane and Shawn.  Two different names for two different people.  "I can't tell them apart." is an excuse people have used for years.  Really?  Shawn was always about 3 inches taller than me and had brown hair.  I had blond for the first 8 years of my life.  I have a cleft in my chin and he doesn't.  And you can't tell us apart?  Bullshit!  People are just too lazy to even try.  Smart people will get twins alike gifts so they don't have to share one or fight over them.  I remember an instance in grade school, a kid was handing out sticks of gum to everyone and when it came to us he torn a piece in half for us to share.  What a dick! 

Another crappy part of being a twin is that people are always comparing you to one another.  Grades, sports, height, weight, attitude, looks, ... the lists goes on and on.  My thought on that is "DON'T do it!"  It's hard enough to find your own identity in this world with out all of this other crap.  Just congratulate each individual on their respective accomplishments.  We are each our own person.  We are good at different things.  I am never compared to my older sister.  Why compare me to my other sibling?

The good part of being  twin is there is always someone to play with, talk to, and get in trouble with.  I remember one game we would play.  We called it "cussing war."  We would crawl under our beds (we shared a room) and start cussing at one another.  We would say the most foul things we could think of.  Who knows how many times we played it but it ended abruptly one summer day when an extra set of ears overheard what was being said.  Later in life we created the "gross out game."  Again some of the grossest things you can think of was said to the other.  This game still rears it ugly head occasionally.

We probably look more alike now than ever. We are the same height and both have greying brown hair.  I get strange looks when I'm back home.  People seem to think they know who I am but give me a second look before they speak.  Sometimes they are right sometimes they are wrong.  I always forgive them.  If I feel they should know who I am then I get a little irked inside.  How would you like to be continually called Fred when your name was Steve?  Exactly. 

Here are a few other irritating questions people often ask: 1) "Where's your brother?"  I don't know we're not Siamese twins attached at the hip.  2) "Are you the one married to Gretchen or Jennifer?"  I have a name, It's Shane.  3) "Tell your brother .... when you see him."  Uh. Okay.  Hope it's not important, it may be awhile.  4) "What was your brother doing the other night when I saw him?"   Refer to number one  5) "Do you guys live next door to each other?)  Yes, it's called The Morgan Compound, where we run around naked, shares wives and have our own cult following.  In other words, "No."    

I could probably go on forever but I'm going to wrap this up.  If you are wishing for twins, ask yourself "is it for them or is it for you?".  Having a twin can be great and horrible all at the same time.  I can try to explain it to you all and when I'm done, you still won't understand.   It's a twin thing, you wouldn't understand.   

1 comment:

  1. Maybe if you were identical you would have had ESP! jk

    I know how much it drives ME nuts when people assume I see my brother 3 times a day and ask me to give him messages. I can only imagine how much more you have to put up with that. I was never one who wished for twins. Having one kid in diapers was difficult enough; I can't imagine having two.