Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Happy Hollowdays

Is there anyone who wants to celebrate holidays one at a time?  There are 3 "holidays" coming up: Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Maybe we should just call them Hallo-anks-mas because that is how our shopping centers treat them.  One aisle is Halloween the next is Christmas.  Poor Thanksgiving gets no love.  The other day at McDonalds my wife wanted a carmel apple sundae for the nice fall weather we were having,  Nope! Sorry. They have moved on to peppermint.  I guess they feel you gotta get in the
"Christmas Spirit."

I like Halloween.  It's fun to get creative, dress up, have kids trick-or-treat and go to Haunted Houses that don't dwell too much on gore.  So why do we want it to fly by so that we can move on to next obstacle to Christmas: Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving, the holiday thanking the natives that helped the illegal aliens keep from starving to death.  Only to have the aliens turn on the natives, kill most of them and take their land.  I remember Thanksgiving at my Grandma's.  We had such great food.  I would get to see all of my relatives that I rarely got to see.  There was football for the men and women hung out talking in the kitchen.   Now it seems that the Thanksgiving meal just gets in the way of the retail markdowns so after everyone eats they head off to worship in the house of their lord, Walmart.  As as kid I wrote a poem about Thanksgiving and finished in 3rd place.  If I wrote one today, It would be "We came, We ate, Then everyone left." 

Lastly, what happened to Christmas.  A member of the President's cabinet said he thought that Christmas was "too commercialized."  He was on President Lincoln's cabinet.  Geez, I wonder what he would think of today's.  We should just rename Christmas to "The Year End Push to Meet Company Profit Projections to Make the Stockholders Happy."  Try getting all of that on a greeting card.  Christmas is supposed to celebrate the birth of Christ but some reason he doesn't get any gifts.  When is the last time someone sold her hair to buy a pocket watch chain?  Yeah, right.  We buy what ever we want whenever we want so when Christmas comes around we have no need of anything.  So we will buy any piece of crap and pawn it of as a gift.  Some families have resorted to giving gift cards.  Ugh.  Gift cards are a great surprise for someone who isn't expecting them.  But just trading gift cards?  You might as well just swap cash.  What?  Not appropriate?  Neither is spending $500; $1000; $10,000 on your kids because it's the only way you know how to show them that you love them. 

So Happy Hollowdays to those who have ruined them.

And Happy Holidays to those who do it right.

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