Monday, July 23, 2012

What Expiration Date?

I am at my in-laws for my last night in Illinois.  It's a good a thing it's only one night because I would have a lot of cleaning to do if it had been more.  I don't think they know what the words "Expiration Date" mean.  They never get sick because of all of the penicillin they ingest on a daily basis.  I once got some milk out of their refrigerator that had the Lindbergh baby holding pictures of missing children out on it.  Of course they waited until I had finished my Cap'n Crunch before they told me.  I actually believe they are trying to kill me with the rotten pantry choices.  Here are a few examples:  Frosted Flakes with the fat Tony the Tiger on it, Aunt Jemima was in a glass bottle, and the Green Giant had faded whiter than Michael Jackson.  I have cleaned this pantry out several times, 'til the point of they thought I should start my own service.  I guess now that I don't live around here anymore, no one checks labels anymore or they just see them as "suggestions."  Let's see what's on today's menu.  Wait!  Holy crap!  Isn't that the fruit basket I gave them back in '98.  Uh-oh!  This is the collection of jellies from Christmas '93.  And this...I don't know what this is/was.  Let me check these cans over here.  Well, that would have been a good year had it been wine instead of Hawaiian Punch.  Hey, wasn't there a recall on these about 15 years ago and then the company went belly up.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure the only expiration date that they are worried about is mine.  That's why I played "sick" the day they wanted to go to the gator farm and swamp tour.  Well, I gotta go.  It's time to play "For Whom the Dinner Bell Tolls."


  1. Why would they clean it out if they know you are going to? And it couldn't have been that bad because I just cleaned it out just a year ago!!!!

  2. Hmmm makes me think they keep all the "good" stuff for me even more.

  3. LOL you should be ashamed of yourself teasing them like that. There is a time in life that we will all have expired items in our kitchen. When the kids leave and have to cook for themselves my husband and I will have plenty of expired stuff because he is going to take me out to eat...all the time.

  4. I think they read "best by" as "best buy". I'm like the Expiration Gestapo, nothing in my kitchen even gets close. Besides that what can drives are for. ;-)

  5. Well I will tell you that when down range almost everything that you are given from the United States that isn't sent to you in a care package is expired. And noone has ever died from eating it. So maybe you are throwing away perfectly good food. No bit seriously every type of snack that the Army supplied while I was in Iraq was expired. From muffins to energy drinks to coffee to cookies to chips, canned fruit, etc. It wasnt just by a few months either.

  6. Sounds like the Army could use my expertise.

  7. I will eat things that have expired, but only by so much. Milk will keep about a week past its expiration date. Plus, if is has gone bad, you know it very quickly.

    However, when I pull a can out of the cupboard to discover that it is a year old, it goes straight in the trash.

    My grandmother had medication from the 90's when we cleaned out her house a few years ago. Maybe that's what killed her.

    Bad joke, I know.

    1. Wow, Brett, I have no response to that.