Monday, July 23, 2012
What Expiration Date?
I am at my in-laws for my last night in Illinois. It's a good a thing it's only one night because I would have a lot of cleaning to do if it had been more. I don't think they know what the words "Expiration Date" mean. They never get sick because of all of the penicillin they ingest on a daily basis. I once got some milk out of their refrigerator that had the Lindbergh baby holding pictures of missing children out on it. Of course they waited until I had finished my Cap'n Crunch before they told me. I actually believe they are trying to kill me with the rotten pantry choices. Here are a few examples: Frosted Flakes with the fat Tony the Tiger on it, Aunt Jemima was in a glass bottle, and the Green Giant had faded whiter than Michael Jackson. I have cleaned this pantry out several times, 'til the point of they thought I should start my own service. I guess now that I don't live around here anymore, no one checks labels anymore or they just see them as "suggestions." Let's see what's on today's menu. Wait! Holy crap! Isn't that the fruit basket I gave them back in '98. Uh-oh! This is the collection of jellies from Christmas '93. And this...I don't know what this is/was. Let me check these cans over here. Well, that would have been a good year had it been wine instead of Hawaiian Punch. Hey, wasn't there a recall on these about 15 years ago and then the company went belly up. Yeah, I'm pretty sure the only expiration date that they are worried about is mine. That's why I played "sick" the day they wanted to go to the gator farm and swamp tour. Well, I gotta go. It's time to play "For Whom the Dinner Bell Tolls."