Saturday, July 9, 2011

"Do you believe in friendship, Wyatt Earp?"

Doc Holliday: Do you believe in friendship, Wyatt Earp?
Wyatt Earp: [nods head silently]
Doc Holliday: So do I. Do you have many friends?
Wyatt Earp: [shakes head 'no' silently]...from the movie Wyatt Earp 

Doc Holliday: I know it's not always easy being my friend, but I'll be there when you need me...from the movie Tombstone

Same person, two different movies, two profound statements regarding friendship.

In this day and age of Facebook, Twitter, and texting, the definition of friendship is now in question.  On my Facebook page it list 167 "friends." That's down from 350.  (Sorry if you got cut but my ADD and OCD couldn't take that much blabbering about mindless things cluttering my page).   But come on.  Really?  Friends?  When is the last time we hung out or talked for hours? (if we ever did)  So "friends" is stretching it.  The way I see it, Facebook has 3 purposes:  keeping friends in touch, stalking, and snooping. 

To answer the above question,  Yes, I believe in friendship.  No, I don't have many friends,    "I didn't have six friends in high school.  I ain't got six friends now!"...Chris Rock

I get along with everybody.  I have made few enemies in my life.  ( Yeah, I know it hard to believe someone doesn't like me.  But they are out there)  Regardless, if you have made me your friend then you are my friend for life.  There are friends I haven't seen in over 20 years, but they are still my friend.  And if they came to my door, we'd pick up where we left off.  Friends come and go and that's just part of life.

Where have all the good friends gone?  My wife has really good friends.  They stay in touch quite often, send each other cards and even tell each that they love them.  As a man I can't imagine doing the last two but maybe we should start.  I remember trying to stay in touch with some friends. But I quit, as it seemed I was doing all the work to stay in touch.  As an adult we have so much going on that picking up the phone and calling someone is way at the bottom of the list.  Facebook has helped but even it has tailed off quite a bit.

And while I have been far from perfect in this life, if a friend needed something I would be there.  Yes, I will say it.  I am a great friend.  Now the question becomes "then why don't you have many friends?" The answer is "I have no f#ing clue."  I guess it comes down to the fact that I like everyone.  There are people I try to avoid because they are annoying but I don't dislike them.  So liking everyone creates a giant pool to choose from. A bit over whelming.   But people who are snooty, elitist or just judgmental gravitate to those with similar feelings or taste.  That makes making friends easier.  That's not me.

I'm not whining.  I am happy with my life.  I would like to be able to hang out with some friends.  But I don't want someone calling 6 times a day, sending 45 text, writing on my Facebook page, and dropping by my house on a daily basis. I do not want to sucked into some soap opera drama that I need daily updates on.  If you have a problem and need help, I can do that.  Need help moving? Sure.  Need a baby sitter? Uh, okay.  Dog sitter? You're pushing it but okay.  Someone to vouch for where abouts to the police or spouse when I don't know where you were?  Nope you got the wrong guy.

So to recap.  Great friend. Don't stalk me.  Be a good friend back.  No drama. And I'll be you're friend for life.


  1. Great post. I feel the same way. It seems my "friends" consist of the about 4 people that I have been friends with for most of my life. I agree it's nice to have people around...WHEN YOU WANT THEM AROUND. I'm too old for drama and people who don't follow the "work, eat, sleep, repeat" philosophy seem alien and annoying to me anymore. I guess I'm old. I have found that 4 of my very best friends live in my house. 2 of them (my beautiful and talented daughters) only part of the time, but I cherish the time they are here and know they are with a great friend of theirs when they aren't here. the other 2 (My wife and my bully Tank) are pretty awesome and drama free. Tank especially tows the line on the "eating and sleeping" philosophy. He isn't so much on the work end. Thanks for sharing man!!! -Big Kev

  2. Great blog!! Sums up how many of us feel, who needs more drama. I have always been a person of few words. By the way, glad I made the cut on your FB "friends" list. I consider you both friends! Hope all is well-Stephanie England Griffin

  3. I only have 3 friends. I send cards, write letters, and tell them I love them. At the end of my life I want people to remember that they were comfortable in my presence. There will only be a few people that could sincerely do my ulegy. (Is that the correct terminology?) This was a good post. I too have deleted many from my list of "friends." I do feel bad sometimes when I try to make contact with someone just to realize that I did not have the impact on their life that they did on mine. Many people I went to highschool with have no idea who I am. I am okay with that though. My closest friend has been my friend since the seventh grade and my best friend is my husband. Thank you for the read :).